I want to tell you about that time that I purposefully placed turkey cold cuts on my face.
That time was yesterday.
It started out as a great day. I kissed my boys goodbye that morning and headed to meet my friend Greta for lunch and girl time.
I enjoyed a fruity Blue Moon and a spicy Red Dragon roll while GFunk and I chatted about family and future plans.
She gave me my birthday present, a really cool bird’s nest necklace that she made herself. No one has ever made me jewelry before. I totally love her. She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, both inside and out. Also, she’s hilarious after a cocktail.
After negotiations with my husband via phone, I managed to eke out a few more hours to hang with my pal, so we went to see The Five Year Engagement.
Y’all, I’ve never watched a more awkward movie in my life. Maybe that was the point? I don’t know. The previews were good though. Ted? The talking teddy bear? I’m so there for that movie. And the Judd Apatow flick that’s like the sequel to Knocked Up? Hilarious. Can’t wait.
Anyway.
About an hour into the movie, I started to feel weird. My throat got really dry. My head started pounding. Eventually I had to excuse myself to drive home so my husband could make it to work on time.
The drive across town was miserable. My face felt like it was ballooning out. The road kept blurring.
But I made it, and walked into the house where hubs handed over kid duties, kissed me goodbye, and left for work.
I got the kiddo settled with cookies and juice and took my temperature. 101.4.
Great.
I downed some ibuprofen and over the next 20 minutes just kept feeling hotter and hotter. I took my temp again. 102.
Awesome.
Later, while I was prepping dinner for my son, I stuck my head in the fridge. My face was on fire. My gaze alighted on a package of honey smoked turkey lunch meat. The thought crossed my mind that it would feel really good on my sizzling skin.
So I took a piece out and slapped it on my forehead.
Y’all, it felt great. I smelled funny for the rest of the day, but those few minutes of instant relief until the medicine kicked in were worth it.
Eventually my fever made its way down to 99, and I put the baby to bed and went to sleep myself.
I woke up this morning still feverish with a splitting headache and a throat full of lava. Right now I’m riding the Nyquil wave, so I’m feeling minimal pain but I just realized that I have nothing scheduled for Monday Meals, and there’s no way I’m cooking today.
So maybe you could go visit a few of my favorite recipe spots instead. Try here. Or here. And definitely here.
Or you can have a cheeseburger. Here ya go.
Oh man. I can’t wait to read this tomorrow when I’m less delirious.
How was your weekend? When you’re sick, how do you handle it?
Mamamash 
–Ahhhhhhhhh,
Pooor Baby.
when I get sick, I take lots of Hot baths!! Xx Feel Better.
Thanks Kim. I hate being sick. I don’t have time for it!
You are too kind. I’m glad we got to hang out before that Red Dragon set your insides on fire.
Get better soon! Try a Hot Tottie…hot tea, lemon, honey, and rum/whiskey/whatever you’ve got.
Also, you’re my very favorite drinking/chatting/window shopping/movie buddy. And I love you, too. AND, I really hope that necklace doesn’t fall apart again…you have to tell me if it does. 🙂
Even if the Red Dragon did make me sick, it was worth it. That thing was GOOD. You’re awesome, btw. Thanks a gush. 😉
You get to hang out with the lovely Greta – who I only met briefly on a plane 😦
But cold meats, with a little natural animal fat, probably did great for the moisturising too xxx
Nicole, you’re hilarious. I guess I could give the animal fat facial a longer trial period though. What could it hurt? Tell me the truth, was Greta freaking out on the plane?
Is it mean of me to think – where’s the picture?
So sorry about the sickies – allergy?
If I had been normal me, goofing around, I would have taken a picture. Instead I was fever-crazed me, trying not to die. 🙂 I’m sorry you’re still pregnant, btw. I was sure it would be the 7th.
Oh no, sounds like food poisoning! Yikes, are you feeling better today? Hope so.
It’s actually an awesome virus I caught from a kid. The fever is gone but I have a blistered mouth. 😦
I hope you’re feeling better now! That does not sound fun (or it sounded fun up until the sick with a fever part). I just heard someone in my office talking about how awkward that movie was a few minutes ago.
And thanks for the links to some good food sites – I love to look at them!
Thanks Katie! I’ve got HF&M, so life’s a party right now. I hope you enjoy the food sites!
This was a brilliant line: “that time was yesterday”. I’m so sorry that you’re sick…but I really could see the appeal of cold cuts on the fact. Maybe stick a wet facecloth in the fridge for later? At least it won’t make you smell funny.
Hindsight being 20/20, I could see how a cloth would be a better alternative. 😉
Ugh, sorry you were so sick! Hope you’re better today.
P.S. You forgot to include a picture of the necklace, but since you’re in a stupor, you’re forgiven.
I’m not! And it’s crap! But oh well. This too shall pass. I will have to get a pic of that necklace, you’re right!
McDonalds totally messed up your food order lady. It says No onion or Pickle but I spy pickles!!
Oh and I hope you feel better! Being sick as a SAHM blows because you can never really rest.
You win for most observant! Hahah! That pic was like a week ago, and I was so aggravated with them. Like, really dudes?!
Oh My! Why in the world did you even post something! I would have just curled up in a ball and died… writing would have been to much of a challenge. Hope you feel better soon!
I was high on Nyquil and felt like writing. HA!
I sure hope you’re feeling better today. Being sick sucks.
And when you’re better? Post a picture of the necklace. Ya know, since there isn’t one of you with turkey on your face. 😉
Yes ma’am. Pics of necklace forthcoming.
Moms can’t get sick! There just isn’t time! I hope you are feeling better.
I’m lucky to have a pretty awesome husband who helps out when I’m down for the count. Much better today!
What made you sick? I hope it wasn’t the food because that Red Dragon looked delicious.
Girl, I got Hand, Foot and Mouth disease from a germy kid. So fun.
Can I go see that Judd Apatow movie with you and Greta when it comes out?
Pretty please?!?
I’ll buy the pre-movie cocktails if you promise to bring the lunchmeat. Just in case.
(That didn’t come out right, but I think you know what I mean…)
Cocktails and a movie with you and GFunk would be hilarious. I’m so down. 😉