I want to tell you about that time that I purposefully placed turkey cold cuts on my face.
That time was yesterday.
It started out as a great day. I kissed my boys goodbye that morning and headed to meet my friend Greta for lunch and girl time.
I enjoyed a fruity Blue Moon and a spicy Red Dragon roll while GFunk and I chatted about family and future plans.
She gave me my birthday present, a really cool bird’s nest necklace that she made herself. No one has ever made me jewelry before. I totally love her. She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, both inside and out. Also, she’s hilarious after a cocktail.
After negotiations with my husband via phone, I managed to eke out a few more hours to hang with my pal, so we went to see The Five Year Engagement.
Y’all, I’ve never watched a more awkward movie in my life. Maybe that was the point? I don’t know. The previews were good though. Ted? The talking teddy bear? I’m so there for that movie. And the Judd Apatow flick that’s like the sequel to Knocked Up? Hilarious. Can’t wait.
About an hour into the movie, I started to feel weird. My throat got really dry. My head started pounding. Eventually I had to excuse myself to drive home so my husband could make it to work on time.
The drive across town was miserable. My face felt like it was ballooning out. The road kept blurring.
But I made it, and walked into the house where hubs handed over kid duties, kissed me goodbye, and left for work.
I got the kiddo settled with cookies and juice and took my temperature. 101.4.
I downed some ibuprofen and over the next 20 minutes just kept feeling hotter and hotter. I took my temp again. 102.
Later, while I was prepping dinner for my son, I stuck my head in the fridge. My face was on fire. My gaze alighted on a package of honey smoked turkey lunch meat. The thought crossed my mind that it would feel really good on my sizzling skin.
So I took a piece out and slapped it on my forehead.
Y’all, it felt great. I smelled funny for the rest of the day, but those few minutes of instant relief until the medicine kicked in were worth it.
Eventually my fever made its way down to 99, and I put the baby to bed and went to sleep myself.
I woke up this morning still feverish with a splitting headache and a throat full of lava. Right now I’m riding the Nyquil wave, so I’m feeling minimal pain but I just realized that I have nothing scheduled for Monday Meals, and there’s no way I’m cooking today.
Or you can have a cheeseburger. Here ya go.
Oh man. I can’t wait to read this tomorrow when I’m less delirious.
How was your weekend? When you’re sick, how do you handle it?