Run, Return, Rebuild

A poem about starting over for MamaKat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Warnings heeded, we left you
Alone in the storm

Took what we could – not much
Dogs and photos, mostly

We watched the colors approach
While you felt the water rise

A week passed by, homeless
Before we saw you

Red brick, still standing strong
Insides out, upsides down

Saved what we could – not much
Metal, plastic and glass, mostly

Hauled the rest to the street
A lifetime of soggy memories

Over the past two years, I’ve regularly dreamed about my house. My first house – all mine. Decorated in everything that symbolized me, all completely destroyed by rising waters. In each dream, I’ve rescued my home, repaired the damage, and carried on making memories within those walls – walls that were built by my family years before.

Two nights ago, for the first time, I dreamed we left the house. We took everything we could fit in boxes, bags and pockets while the walls began to crumble and the floor began to disappear under growing puddles of brackish water

But the house didn’t look the same. The details were wrong, as if I had forgotten them.

I think finally, after I’ve put  years and miles between my old home and my new one, after I’ve built a marriage and birthed a child, my subconscious is beginning to let go of my old life, one small piece at a time.

Mama’s Losin’ It

22 thoughts on “Run, Return, Rebuild

  1. Lovely poem. Very well done. I loved the feeling it evoked, one of some disappointment but not despair. You have with you all that matters, as the rest is washed away.

  2. Just beautiful. You are so right in your comment above…as long as you have your loved ones, everything else can be replaced. As they say “the best things in life aren’t things.”

  3. This is powerful. I can’t imagine losing my house, or how you must have been feeling when those tornadoes were so close, thinking that you could possibly lose another house. Wow.

    1. The funny thing is, I had that dream two days before the crazy tornado outbreak. So how creepy was that? I was sitting in the basement going, really, God? Ok, what are you trying to teach me? So I guess He was teaching me preparedness, LOL!

  4. It’s good that you’re learning to let go of that old life, and accepting the new one that you have now. It’s interesting that this acceptance is symbolized in your dreams. The mind is really a wondrous thing!

  5. It breaks my heart for all that you went through and all you lost. You, to whom family and tradition means so much. You grieved when no one knew, everyone just thought you were moving on. Still you grieved. Breaks my heart sweet soulmate of mine. I wish I could have spared you some of that, protected you from some of that. But, if I did I would have robbed you of something strangely beautiful. The person you have grown into because of these experiences. You have done an amazing job of learning from your experiences and grown from them. It does look like you are finally, peacefully being able to let go of that pain and getting on with your new life. Can’t wait to see what you do next! All my love sweet Niece.

  6. What a beautiful poem! I crack up every time I see your gnomes on Twitter, so I was surprised to feel so melancholy (in a good way) reading your poem. Just gorgeous. And I love your Aunt Jan.

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