Chick O Cheat

I gotta tell you, the last thing this mama wanted to do tonight was go trick or treating. I was barely getting by on the three hours of sleep I’d gotten after last night’s Madonna concert and still being waterboarded by my own snot thanks to this lingering cold.

For some reason, my husband was determined that we go, so after a short nap I dragged myself out to the truck to head over to our friends’ neighborhood for what ended up being probably one of the best Halloween evenings ever.

Last year, Monkey dressed as a gnome and rode around in the wagon for most of the night. His dad would carry him up to each house for treats and he’d just stare at all the happy, friendly candy pushers.

This year, he quickly figured out what an awesome deal this whole Halloween thing was.

You mean, I just wear some silly outfit?

And I get to pull the wagon around in the street?

And if I walk up to a house and yell, “Chick O Cheat” they’ll give me candy? (Don’t forget to say thank you! See you later!)

And Mama will let me eat my weight in M&Ms as long as I turn over all these orange square things?

So up and down the sidewalks we went through a neighborhood full of clowns and witches, fairy princesses and well-muscled super heroes. The dads toted small coolers full of autumnal brews while the big kids filled pillowcases with sugar-laden treats to be bartered for extended bedtimes later.

The moms wheeled the smaller kids around in wagons and strollers, stashing the good chocolate in their pockets when no one was looking. Ok, so maybe just one mom did that. Shut up.

After we’d filled the buckets and baskets, we headed back to our friends’ house for some pizza and warmth while the kids sorted their candy and the men chilled on the porch with their drinks and cigars.

On the way home, Monkey was asleep before we hit the highway. His father slipped him quietly into pajamas and under the covers before stretching out to gently snore on the couch.

And Mama is tired, and still feeling under the weather. But she is also round and content and grateful to be able to live such a beautiful, simple life with some truly excellent people.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired #iPPP

Yup. That pretty much sums up my weekend. How was yours?

Share your camera phone photos with us at #iPPP!



Mamamash
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Turtles and cheeseburgers #iPPP

We’re nearing the halfway point of this pregnancy and the big anatomy ultrasound is coming up.

I know when you hear people say, “We don’t care about the sex as long as it’s healthy,” you roll your eyes because of course people have a preference…but I don’t think that I do this time.

Last time? Totally wanted a boy. Got a boy. Husband did a bizarre “I’m the champ” pose in the ultrasound room when we spotted the little “turtle” on the screen.

But this time, I can honestly say that there are pros to having either sex and all I’m really truly actually worried about is seeing all the other parts present and in working order.

Well then, why even find out, right? Just be surprised. Be “Team Green.”

Psh. Riiiiight.

I need to know what variety I’m carrying. I’m so tired of referring to it as “It.”

It? Might as well start calling it Pennywise.

I need to know if we’ve got a turtle or a cheeseburger on that anatomy scan because I need to name this baby. We’ve finally settled on both a girl name and a boy name and I need to make it permanent before I get itchy Google fingers and start adding more names to the list again.

We went back and forth for what seemed like forever trying to agree on names. Lists were made and deleted. Do you know how hard it is to come up with baby names after you’ve been a teacher? Or if you’re married to a guy who dated half the coeds at his college? Or if you’re the last person to get around to having babies in your family and you like Biblical names and everyone (especially your sister, ahem) has already taken all the really good ones so you’re left with like, Habbukuk?

So I need to know. Is it a boy? Will he wear all of Monkey’s adorable old baby clothes? Will Monkey grow up with a brother to love and tussle with? Will we complete my mom’s boys’ basketball team?

Or is it a girl? Will we get to shop for pinks and purples? Will we be introduced to the world of tutus and tiaras? Will my mom finally get that granddaughter and my sister finally get that girl she’s always wanted?

Little baby, are you a Ruffle Butt or a Scuffle Butt?

What do y’all think?

*I really appreciate all the love you guys gave this photo on Instagram and Facebook this week. It’s hard to feel pretty during pregnancy, what with all the lumpiness and weird acne. You guys have made me feel like a preggo princess and I can’t thank you enough.

Also, it’s #iPPP time! Link up your camera phone photos with me and The Funk!



Mamamash
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A time for heroes

Beside a cornfield in a small town in Kansas, a quiet, unassuming boy waits patiently to fulfill his destiny.

Or for his turn on the slide, whichever comes first.

From the makers of Scarecrow 2010 and Gnome 2011, it’s Clark Kent 2012!

*Thanks to Greta for the invitation to Monkey’s first ever costume party! Super Toddler walked in the door this evening after the festivities, put on his jammies, announced “I SLEEPIN” then conked out cold. 

The immeasurable love at tuck-in time

Our kid has always been super easy to put to bed. I know. Don’t hate me.

He’s slept through the night since early on, and once he worked his way up to twelve-hour snoozes has rarely strayed from his 7:30-7:30 slumbers.

When we changed his crib into a toddler bed, we were worried he’d take the sudden freedom as a chance to go hog-wild and forego his sleepy time, but he settled right in to the new shape of things without any problems.

When he wakes in the morning, instead of tossing stuffed animals out of the crib willy-nilly and singing softly to his pillow, he crawls out of bed, comes to the gate at his door and calls out to us.

“Mama, I hungry!”

or

“Dada I get out!”

And so we grumble our way out of bed, take him downstairs and fix him his milk, Cheerios and fruit, and try to start our day.

So we were a little worried this past week when he started flipping out about bedtime. At first we thought maybe he was fighting it because we had houseguests.

Our visit from Aunt Jan overlapped a bit with our visit from my husband’s childhood friend and Monkey is madly in love with both of them. He’d go from charming his aunt to snuggling his “uncle” and back again.

While he’s always been Aunt Jan’s boy, I was absolutely amazed at how fast he took to my husband’s pal. If he was around, Monkey wanted to hold his hand, wear his shoes, steal his hat. We all pretty much passed out from the cute.

When bedtime rolled around, we’d have the boy go around and give everyone night-night sugars and hugs. He’d sweetly kiss each of us in attendance, pat us on the back with a hug…

And then melt down in an epic toddler whine.

Crap.

My husband and I were a little frustrated. But then one of us, I forget which, had the brilliant idea to go put him to bed together.

So we walked him up the stairs, watched him get into bed, turned on his projector and bid him goodnight.

“Love you, Monkey,” his dad said.

“Love you, Dada,” he replied.

“Love you, Monkey,” I said.

“Love you, Mama,” he answered.

And then we left the door slightly ajar and rejoined our guests with no drama. Not even a single whine. We repeated this for several nights with much success.

So tonight, our first night alone as a family in over a week, we had dinner and some snuggles and then my husband went to put the boy to bed.

Only, he wasn’t going. And it had nothing to do with company. He flopped down and started to whine, but only for the ten seconds or so it took us to realize that he just wanted both of us to put him to bed.

“Hold hand, Mama,” he said, grabbing my fingers.

“Hold hand, Dada,” he said, reaching for his father.

And single file, holding hands, we walked up the stairs, through his gate and to his bed. He gave us one more kiss then climbed into bed, covered up, and hugged his stuffed puppy.

“Love you, Monkey.”

“Love you, Dada.”

“Love you, Monkey.”

“Love you, Mama.”

He just wants to rock #iPPP

There was much spoiling going on around here this weekend, not the least of which was the sudden influx of musical instruments for the kiddo.

For the last couple of months, Monkey had commandeered the Xbox guitar controller for Guitar Hero as his own too-big axe and had been silently rocking out to every Backyardigans song and Dora diddy.

Aunt Jan wanted to be the one to get him his first guitar, and boy did she. We spent what must have been an hour at Toys R Us looking for the perfect beginner instrument. In the end, we brought home not one but two red Cars guitars (acoustic and electric, ‘natch) as well as a microphone with stand and amp. It was a tiring but successful endeavor.

I think at first Monkey was scared of the microphone. He would make us talk into it but wouldn’t make even a whisper. For awhile, he carried around the acoustic guitar backwards and strummed it close to his chest.

But then today we watched Rock of Ages and he suddenly figured out what to do with his new toys. Each time a song would come on he would assume the rock star stance in front of the tv and jam his little heart out.

At one point he even slammed the guitar excitedly on the ground. Sorry, Aunt Jan. We totally had the talk about how you should save the guitar smashing until after the cocaine-fueled performance in front of a sold out crowd.

Juuuuust kidding.

Did you write a post and use a camera phone photo in it? Link up with us at #iPPP!



Mamamash
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Top 10 things you never knew you wanted but are your most favorite gifts from Uncle Mark ever

My uncle is a retired lawyer with a penchant for internet shopping and a flair for the unusual. He’s one of those people who pays attention to what you like, files that information way back in his brain and pulls it out at random moments.

Over the last year or so he’s sent us a collection of gifts that never fail to make us smile. This last weekend he sent us our favorite gift – a weekend with our Aunt Jan.

We are so grateful for the special moments we had with her, and the ways he lets us know he’s thinking of us throughout the year.

Thanks, Uncle Mark, for the generosity with the randomosity. (I made that last word up for you. You’re welcome.)

Top Ten Things You Never Knew You Wanted But Are Your Most Favorite Gifts From Uncle Mark Ever

10. Zombie Gnome Splatter Targets – I have a thing for gnomes AND zombies but ZOMG these scare me.

9. Wind up chattering teeth – I remember these from PeeWee’s Playhouse. Who knew they actually made them?


8. Goodnight iPad – Such an appropriate book for my family.

7. Sports gnomes – Eh, so they’re both representing some seriously shittastic teams. They’re cute. And one of them holds money.

6. A gross of glow sticks – Got a toddler? Buy glow sticks in bulk. Always a hit.

5. Gnome hats – I forced my family (here my husband, son, sister and nephews) to wear these for a photo last Christmas. It cracks me up. Just wait to see THIS year’s family Christmas photo. Muahahah. Ha. 

4. Nose glasses – Pretty sure my second born will be wearing these in his/her first photo.

3. Hypodermic pens with fake blood – Yeah. Just plain awesome.

2. As Seen on TV – As seen in an informercial is now as seen in my office. Although I really have no idea what to do with this stuff.

1. Zombie Gnome – The favorite of the favorites. His name is Felix and he sits on my side table because I’m afraid if I put him outside people will be so tempted to steal him because of his awesomeness.

*Oh and hai – thanks to all who entered my $50 gift card giveaway last week! Check out the winner here.

Long time, no see #iPPP

I got to do something really, really awesome last night. A little before midnight, I drove north to the airport. I told my husband I was going to pick up my aunt for a visit, but my plans were much different.

Sneaky, I am.

But I had a little help in my deception. In fact, the deception wasn’t even my idea. It came in the form of a text message from an unknown number.

“Do you have plans in October? I’d like to come visit.”

My husband’s best friend – hell – his brother just about, from long ago when he lived in a state far away. Childhood besties from way back who managed to stay in touch for twenty years.

They hadn’t seen each other in nearly ten years and apparently, it was time.

For that whole month, I kept the secret, trading furtive text messages that I quickly deleted.

It all paid off with this face right here. (Ignore the crazy eyes – the iPhone needs work on the “red eye” fix.)

What’s going on in your world this week? Share your camera phone photos with us!



Mamamash
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Happy Birthday @Gfunkified!

Blogging brings different things to different people. For some, it’s money. For a select few, fame. For others, a much appreciated audience.

For a lucky handful of us, blogging brings true friendship – friendship with someone who gives as much as they take, who listens patiently and advises supportively. Friendship with someone who pushes you to be better by just doing what they normally do – being awesome at life.

I’m blessed to have such a friendship with this crazy girl.

And today is her BIRTHDAY!

I know she thinks that being the mom of four small kids means that her place is usually behind the camera as the candles are being blown out, but I want to take today ask you to help me tell that girl that THIS is HER cake day. If you would, go wish her Happy 29th HERE or HERE or HERE!

I want to remind her that one day, those little kids that she spends so much time showering with affection and guidance – those kids whom she ferries to school and swimming lessons and doctor’s appointments – those kids will grow up and understand what an amazing mom they have, and her birthdays will be an occasion for them all to gather with their spouses and children to celebrate someone really special.

So Happy Birthday, “Getta!” Thanks for letting me rant, for loving my kid, and for being my lunch date on the weekends!

Win a $50 gift card and FlatOut prize pack! #FlatoutPizza

Last week I had a lot of fun getting creative in the kitchen again thanks to FlatOut Flatbread, Walmart and The Motherhood. And I’d be telling a fib if I said we hadn’t indulged in a few more pizzas since then!

We’d really like for you to get to have your own fun too, so we’re giving away a FlatOut prize pack with all sorts of nifty goodies as well as a Walmart giftcard worth $50!

It’s super easy to enter – just leave a comment telling us about your favorite pizza topping.

This giveaway will be open until Friday, October 12 at 11:59 CST. The winner will be chosen via random number drawing. One entry per U.S. resident 18 or older, please!

UPDATE: Congratulations to the winner, Susi K of BocaFrau! 

I was selected by Flatout Flatbread and Walmart to participate in this sponsored recipe program through The Motherhood. While I have been compensated for my time and expenses, all opinions are my own. As if you doubted that.