Last week, a snake slithered across my naked toes and surprisingly, I did not suffer a myocardial infarction. I did flip him off, but only after the cheeky little guy turned around and stuck his tongue out at me.
So, I’m not too squeamish about reptiles. Or vermin, for that matter. I’ll totally pick up that mouse that’s terrorizing you in the kitchen.
But there is one order of animals I cannot stand, and that’s spiders.
Yes, I know they eat bugs, and bugs are annoying. Yes, I know they provide food for birds, and birds are beautiful.
I don’t care. I’ve had one shower with me. I’ve had one visit me while I was on the toilet. I’ve had one crawl into bed with me.
Look, guys, I have a space bubble. I have intimacy issues.
And spiders are just prone to getting way too personal.
So it’s strange that two years ago, when this lady set up housekeeping outside our front door, we didn’t bother her. In fact, we fussed at visitors who insisted we sweep her away, or squash her.
She stayed for a couple of months, keeping our porch bug-free and spinning beautiful new webs each morning. We took to calling her Charlotte.
Look, I never said we were original.
Anyway, when she went away at the start of winter, we were kind of sad. We knew she’d laid her last clutch of eggs and died at the first frost. Like Wilbur, we were somewhat lost without her constant presence.
Last year, we waited anxiously to see if any of her progeny might return. Not one orb weaver could be spotted anywhere in our yard, which was strange. Normally we have half a dozen or so.
Fast forward to present day. When we returned from Texas Sunday evening, we were greeted by the sight of something that might make most people cringe.
But we were overjoyed. Our eight-legged gargoyle – she was back. Reincarnated maybe, likely even offspring of our original Charlotte. And while she’ll probably skeeve out the postman, she might also discourage the solicitors – and that’s fine by us.
The seasons are changing! Did you snap a pic of your Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte? Are the leaves turning already in your neighborhood? Show us your camera phone pics from this week!
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