My husband let me sleep late this morning, which was great since I was up at 2 a.m. wrestling with the ghost of the Papa Johns pizza I ate last night.
That damn garlic sauce will get you every time.
When I dragged my corpse downstairs a little after nine, I found that he’d already fed the toddler and provided him with entertainment. I was feeling pretty grateful, so I decided to make him pancakes.
My friend Denae brags about making perfect pancakes all the time, but I am one of those people who always, always ruins the first one. The dog is appreciative but it never ceases to annoy me that I can’t hit one out of the park on the first try.
So I’m halfway through the bucket of batter I’ve prepared, a stack of hotcakes steaming on a plate and a tray of bacon in the oven. I have the usual conversation about the appropriate “doneness” of bacon – CHEWY! NO! CRUNCHY! CHEWY DAMMIT! – before I declare it done and turn off the oven.
I’m preparing my husband’s plate and I hear him reading to our son in the living room.
“Baa baa black sheep…” he begins.
I hum along in my head. This was one of my favorite nursery rhymes when I was little, who knows why.
He finishes, “One for the master, one for the dame and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.”
I throw down my spatula and yell, “AND NONE FOR GRETCHEN WEINERS!”
Crickets.
My sense of humor is clearly not adequately appreciated around here.
This is why we need a daughter. A daughter who will watch Mean Girls 3,752 times with her mother and get all my Glen Coco jokes and maybe not burn the first pancakes on a lazy Friday morning.
Awww! As someone with a daughter, I am here to vouch for the fact that they are indeed very fun. Just get your wallet ready b/c you know how shoe-obsessed we are over here.
Yeah, the shoe obsession will be interesting. Monkey has had exactly one pair of shoes for each size he’s been through. He’s in a size 8 right now, and his feet grow so fast I refuse to buy more than one pair at a time. But I guess a girl can’t wear the same pair of shoes with every outfit can she? Oh boy.
I want you to have a girl too just so I can live vicariously through you! And suggest all these cute girl clothes I keep Pinning!
Everybody had boys this year! I need to bring in the estrogen for sure.
You are too cute. Be careful what you wish for though, you will also be up to your eyeballs in hair elastics and princess underwear!
Hehe, that sounds like fun.
Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!
See? Straight men do NOT appreciate the hilarity of this movie. It’s so brilliant though. Have you seen the mashup tumblr of Mean Girls and Hunger Games? It’s great.
omg no I asume this is on utube? I have to see it! LOVE MEAN GIRLS!
No, it’s meangirlsofpanem.tumblr.com I think?
LOL! I think girls are fun but I am kinda partial to my little one. I did not always make perfect pancakes. In the past the last ones always got blackened. Finding the perfect pan temp isnt easy. Maybe I should write about how to tell the doneness of pancakes. And no one would care except for that poor girl who cries herself asleep at night over her ruined pancakes (not you, this girl lives in Maine where pancakes are more important).
Pancakes can be hard, man. And that first one. Gosh.
I love having girls to enjoy those sorts of fun things with me! Especially now that they’re getting older. You should have one
I burn the first 75% of my pancakes, so it’s a fight to see who gets the 3 or 4 good ones.
I’ve seen the fun you have with Jenny and Reagan and I’m a tiny bit envious.
I’m not gonna lie. Having a boy and then a girl kind of kicks ass.
Like a lot.
p.s. My daughter watches Toddlers and Tiaras with me and says, “THANK YOU for not being like that!” I’m just saying. Start ‘em on the trashy stuff early and they’ll always think you’re wonderful by comparison…
I always thought I wanted two boys. And you know, if that’s what I get I’m great with it, there are many awesome things about living in a boy house. But lately I’ve just been thinking more and more about having a daughter and how, if I can survive the teenage years, it could be really awesome.
I heart you so much!
I, too, screw up pancake number one. I don’t have a dog. I have a really rockin’ hubby that makes me feel better about myself and destroys the evidence.
It’s great to be loved for being a dork.
My mom uses the metaphor of the first pancake/firstborn all the time. You always screw them up.
Having girls is seriously fun. Always interesting. And an EXCELLENT shopping opportunity at every corner. Ruffle Butts!!
See, I feel like I did a good job with the first kid. I’m afraid I’m going to screw up the second one because I’ll be more relaxed. HA. Weird.
I have one of each and even that has its challenges.
I’m sure!
That is one of my favourite movies!!
That’s one of my favourite movies!!
Yay! I figured you might have liked it.
Yes! You definitely need a little gnomette! My daughter is this little mini me which can be adorable AND embarrassing. Occasionally she’ll loudly announce something like “I’m fed up with this!” which just makes every one turn and stare at me.
I think it would be delightful to see a little girl with all my fire. And exhausting.
I think I lucked out in the boy department as I am the least girly girl I know. I actually couldn’t remember if I had seen Mean Girls or not- and I did not get your joke
So how much longer till you find out?!?!?!
Haha, tomboy! I used to be one, and I’m still really masculine according to some people (one guy called me a butch bitch, I laughed for days) but I definitely think motherhood made me a little more in touch with my feminine side! We find out in October!