Maybe it’s not.
The Internet, the library and probably your mom are full of advice when it comes to potty training.
“There is no right age.”
“You were potty trained when you were 18 months old.”
“Well, it’s not like he’s going to Kindergarten in diapers.”
Over the last month, I’ve read testimonials about “The Naked Weekend.” I’ve seen warning posts by pediatric urologists about training too early. I’ve listened to moms of many children say that it’s better to start earlier than late.
I’ve taken it all into account, and my family – Mama, Dada and the Monkey – well, we decided it might be time.
Monkey knows the words.
“Mama, poo poo.”
“I tee. Tee, Mama.”
“Potty! Elmo potty! I potty!”
He’s finally learned what to call certain body parts.
“Peeeeeneees. I peeenneeeees.”
And of course, he loves to flush. (Bye, toilet paper! Bye Cheerio I was saving for later!)
So we ditched the diapers. We bought a potty with a better splash guard than the one our Pop built us. (It’s gorgeous, Pop, but the kiddo is too chubby in the bottom to fit just right.) We picked up some ridiculously cute underwear.
And we set out to try that naked weekend.
First up, we had to get Monkey used to the new potty. So we sat and played on the iPad, we ate lots of Goldfish and we sang songs.
Cool, sitting on the potty is cool.
We had already been talking about how the tee tee and the poo poo, they go IN the potty. We’ve modeled the behavior. (I peed in front of someone on purpose. This is what parenthood does to you.) We were ready for this.
Dudes, you are never ready for this.
You are never ready to watch your kid begin to squeeze one out over in the corner and see yourself rush, faster than you ever thought possible, to get him on the potty.
You are never ready to clean pee off the curtains. Twice. In one day.
And you’re never ready for how freaking excited you are when your kid makes his way over to the potty by himself, squats, and drops a deuce.
He’s sitting there, strangely relieved, wondering how this wiping thing is going to work and you’re doing the Jerry Maguire “Show Me The Money” dance on the couch.
He’s up and quietly picking through the building blocks next to the potty and you’re contemplating photographing the evidence of his triumph to send to your husband at the baseball game so he can share in the moment. (Yeah. I did.)
And then it hits you…you have to dispose of the turd. You can’t just wrap it up in the diaper and toss it in the trash. What if you try to dump it in the toilet and miss?
Thankfully, everything was disposed of properly and completely sanitized in time for round two: The tee. The tee has to go in the potty too.
There was much frustration in this department because my kid? He wants to tee standing up. Of course he does, that’s how Dada does it.
So what do I do? Ask Dada to tee sitting down? Psh, like that’s gonna happen.
Anyway, the last few days have mainly been comprised of me herding my son and his junk toward the potty several times a day, celebrating when the tee makes it into the potty and grumbling silently to myself when I have to soak it up out of the carpet instead.
He’s still bottomless most of the day and wears a pull up during sleep time, but every now and then, when the danger of leakage has subsided, he gets to wear his Big Boy Pants.
I think we’ve got lots of work to do until he’s completely ready to venture out in his Manly Drawers, but I tell you what – Mama is definitely trained now.
I was told that if the child starts saying the words or sounds or hanging around the toilet or any other indicator relating to going potty is uttered by your little one, you get started!!
You go little man!! The Super undies fit you perfectly. Now mama needs some. Say, Wonder Woman?!?
HA! Wouldn’t that be a fun portrait for “Awkward Family Photos.”
“herding my son and his junk” BAHAHAHAHAHA
Potty training is so much fun.
NOT.
It’s really not fun. But you have to pretend it’s fun, so you smile and make big gestures. Sort of like being around…yeah, you know.
I love the picture of him pulling up the underwear! Those baby legs are gorgeous. Thanks for sharing:)
Oh, mom. I wish you were here to share with us. And help.
Love you!
The very first stupid parenting moment I can remember having is modeling peeing for my kiddo. You know, because I stand up. And she’s built to sit. There was a *lot* of undoing as she started peeing all over the place, standing up.
That was your first stupid moment? No wonder you’re Dad of the Decade.
That’s hilarious though. We’ve done a lot of stupid modeling for him, and the undoing takes forever!
Oh my gosh!! this was so hilarious and TRUE! I have 4 kids and I have cleaned pee off a curtain more than a few times. I have also wept over this issue as crazy as that sounds and almost been driven to insanity . At one time I even decided I no longer cared if one of my who-shall-remain-nameless stubborn kiddos never learned how to potty! I decided I did not care so long as they were potty trained by Kindergarten . And as soon as I gave up I heard the regular toilet flush and out she walked victorious! That potty training is a battle. Hang in there!
I would be lying if I said at the end of the day I didn’t just collapse and want to cry. I’m trying to make it positive for him and not like a battle, so I do my war cry after he goes to bed.
Love the naked weekend tshirt! That rocks. It was so easy with my oldest – he just decided to do it one day. I’m not looking forward to going through it with my youngest, the stubborn, Mr. In-my-own-time-in-my-own-way who is 15 months old and still refuses to walk without my finger.
Thanks! I’m glad I made it for the memory book. I think it’s cute Mr. Stubborn likes to hold your hand!
Haha. Thanks for the laugh! Good luck with training
Thank you! The beginning is somewhat daunting.
Oh my. It’s been a decade since I would find six pairs of my daughter’s panties in the dryer every time I went to do laundry.
She’d put them in there because they’d gotten “wet”. So. You know.
Where else would they go?
Yeah. I don’t miss those days.
Much.
I get to eat all the Cheerios now.
(Nostalgic sigh.)
I think the day when I have the Cheerios all to myself will be a sad day.
We’re teetering on the edge of potty training. Actually, I guess technically we’ve already started since she sits on the potty every day at school and has peed in it a few times at home. Nevertheless, I remain dubious about The Naked Weekend. The plumbing and the wiring just don’t seem to be in sync enough for that yet. Or maybe I just lack the patience and stamina necessary to spend the weekend herding my kid and her junk (love!) to the bathroom all the livelong day.
I know. I need to get over myself. I’m a parent now – it’s not all about me anymore. Besides, it’s just ONE weekend. ONE weekend to spend knee-deep in shit.
Literally.
Knee deep? Damn honey. Whatcha feedin’ that girl?
My husband would find the words “Naked Weekend” to have a completely different meaning…. Ahem. GOOD LUCK!!!
Yeah, when I told my husband we were going to do a naked weekend he got so excited…and so disappointed, all in the span of about 45 seconds.
It’s time
I’ve trained 9 so far, and if he wasn’t ready he wouldn’t have had such a successful Naked Weekend. Hooray for you guys! The end of diapers is nigh!
Your advice on child rearing is definitely gold. I don’t see us completely weaned off the Pampers any time soon, but I’m happy for a new challenge and a new beginning!
Ahhh, so doggone sweeeet. <3
Thank you, Kim.
I’m strangely envious. We haven’t potty trained Monkey. Well, he used to tell me when he had to poop and on the potty he went. Until we moved house and he just refused. So we’re back to zero.
And with the baby coming, we figured we’ll just do it later. Much later. Sigh. I wish there was a potty training genie.
For real, diapers are great. They’re just so expensive and I hate packing them around everywhere. But either way, you’re wiping a butt. So no hurry, since you’ll be wiping at least one anyway!
So proud of your little dude!!!
It’s fun to see them learning a new lesson. The frustration, the light bulb…I miss being in the classroom, but this is great too.
Oh Julie!!! These chubby legs in these tiny underpants make my day! I’m pretty queasy when it comes to potty talk, but in Monkey’s case, I’m charmed by it.
I wish you a ton of luck and I pray his peeing on the floor doesn’t convince Frank that it’s an acceptable method of relieving himself!!!
So I shouldn’t send you the “first” pic then? HAHAH. Kidding. Frank already pees on the floor, especially when we have guests. I just hope Monkey doesn’t pick up THAT habit.
“Show me the money dance” LOL!
I never started potty training either of my kids until they were almost three. They were both done within a matter of weeks once we started.
In Germany, kids start Kindergarten when they are three, and if they are still in diapers then, the Kindergarten teachers take the diapers off and ask for lots of fresh underwear to be brought every day. They say kids learn fastest that way.
My daughter was “done” when she started Kindergarten, my son was not quite there yet. I brought lots of underwear for him and it was definitely painless for me… the only thing he reserved for at home were the really big turds, which he dropped exclusively in the neighbor’s flour beds. That was fun.
I am laughing so hard with this visual I have of your kid popping a squat in the neighbors’ landscaping. I agree with the Germans – taking away the diapers cold turkey is the best way.
I’m thinking I’ll just keep J in diapers. It’s normal for a teenager to still wear diapers right??!!
Freaking hilarious post!
You know, if diapers were free, I’d totally go along with that!
The thought of that cute little bare bottom just cracks me up.
He’s got butt dimples. They’re great!
Okay, the part about taking the picture to send to the husband to share? Yeah, I laughed at that. I had those same thoughts.
Oh girl. I didn’t just think it. I DID IT. Only fair, because when Monkey was an itty bitty baby and I was out getting my hair done, hubs took a pic of a blow out diaper to ask me what to do, and texted it to me. YEAH.
Way to go little dude. Good luck with the training and keep smiling. Rome wasn’t built in one day either. But I was so happy we have tiles on the floor everywhere inside the house.
Oh, I wish we had tiles. So much easier. So much.
Yay!!
We’re starting with our little guy too but it’s slow going because we started daycare recently too. Thankfully, the daycare will work on potty training!
I think it’s totally fine to go slow! Eventually it just becomes a habit!
My son was very difficult to train. I’ve always heard boys are harder than girls, and all the evidence I’ve ever seen supports it!
Good luck–hang in there!
I refuse to use those potty chair things because I’m not going to clean them. I bought this little insert potty seat that goes on top of the real toilet. Just flush and go.
But I feel your pain on the potty training woes. We are still dealing with it.
we did naked weekend while we were renting a house at a beach,figuring that boy #1 could just, you know, hang it off the deck if need be (hard to do in an apartment in nyc, which is where we lived at the time)…weekend turned into a week and a LOT of trips to the store for thomas the train pieces…as poop rewards. That’s the other thing parenting does to you: you are effectively paying your kid to shit.
seriously? was that part in the fine print of the contract I was in too much pain to read during childbirth? shit-bribes. that’s what it amounts to. and being PROUD of it, no less. Freud would have a freaking field day with all of us, that’s for sure.
That’s awesome. My husband wants to train this baby as early as possible – but I know we’re not even close to ready
I’m impressed with how you’re doing – and love those Superman undies!